I was going to write a post with some of the most frequently asked questions about my experiences in the swinging lifestyle. However, I have decided to write about only one. It’s by far the most asked question – and always the first. How did you get into the lifestyle?
Actually, the most popular variation of the question is, “How did he get you to do it?” Well, first of all, if you know me at all, you know that no one “gets me to do” anything. LOL But I understand what most people mean.
For me, it wasn’t a case of me being asked to do something or me asking. We were always just kind of in sync on it. We have always been open with each other about fantasies or things we would see on a porn ~ whatever, so it just went from there. We do discuss new things we want to try or something we think is hot (or not). But I will share with you some of the ways my friends have gotten into the lifestyle. And a suggestion or two of my own for those of you interested in broaching the subject on your own.
Like all of you that have asked me how I got into the lifestyle, I ask pretty much everyone I meet in the lifestyle the exact same thing! (You know me, I ask a lot of questions.) For most of my lifestyle friends, they have told me they got started with a threesome. The first couple we ever met said she got him a threesome with another chick for his 30th birthday ~ they have been in the lifestyle for fifteen years now. Some ladies have longed for the girl on girl that they had in college or, like many of my cock suckers, they have their own college experiences that they want to relive. Others, it’s more basic, they enjoy their sex lives together, in all their freakiness and want to meet like minded people.
So how do you tell your partner what you would like to do? Sounds silly, but be direct. I know that sounds easier said than done. If you watch porn together, try watching one that is what you like, then ask them, “What do you think about that?” “Does that turn you on?” “Would you want to try that?”
Now, for those of you that are solo. Don’t worry, you aren’t to be excluded from the lifestyle. There are options. I’m not a fan of “personal ads” or meeting people randomly in hotel rooms. My suggestion, solo or a couple, check out lifestyle websites and private members only clubs. (This was our first step and still how we meet new people) Most clubs have theme nights or events, many based on specific kinks; bbc, group sex, voyeurism, femdom, gangbang, bi play, toy play, etc. You don’t have to participate if you don’t want, you can just observe. It’s the best way that I know of to meet like minded people who share your kink or kinks. (Yes, I have more than one, but that is for another post.)
Until next time!
Ms Kay Marie